"Why Not Trust God Again" By Kurt Carr

We all need to be reminded:

When life seems cruel
And so unfair
With each new day it seems a greater problems waiting there
For each step forward I take
Seems I get pushed two steps behind
Don’t think I’m going to make it sometimes
Don’t think my nerves can take it this time
As I’m about to call it quits a solution comes
Why not trust God again
I know that He can do it
I pray again, believe again
My God will work it for my good again
I know that He will see me through it all
If I trust in God again

Is there a mountain standing in your way
Is there a loved one you’re worried about today
Is there a blessing you desire that seems intangible
Instead of giving up the fight
Cling to faith with all your might
The One who’s seen you through before is still able

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take him at his word
Why not trust

Chorus:
Why not trust God again
I know that He can do it
I pray again, believe again
My God will work it for my good again
I know that He will see me through it all

I will, I will, I will trust in God again ( repeat )

Do you want to hear this beautiful song?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksdwKRVLiNw


Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

On the mend? When, pray tell?

Today my personal trainer suggested I rest. With only 8 days left and I'm unable to really walk yet... I feel like I'm losing ground.

How many people can do the mother/son dance? I figured if there's Fred and I, then possibly Beth for more support, then Ted, just in case I begin to fall, perhaps Ray on outskirts in case we all go down... Keeping the walker handy in case I lose someone's hand... I just don't want to be a laughing stock!

Last week, before the surgery, I managed a Tango. Now I've been told the pain in my leg will take a year to heal! I REALLY need a miracle and a faster way out of the bed to the potty. ;)


Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Rebecca & Dave's Kindness!

A lady at my church knew that I was hungry and with only men to care for me, she went out of her way to make me dinner today, lunch tomorrow, and muffins for breakfast.

This scripture came to my mind as I thought about her and her family's kindness.
John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

Thank you, Rebecca and Dave! I may never be able to repay your thoughtfulness but I will always remember it!

Much love,

Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Humility and Love

I so desperately wanted to wash my hair today. I got down beside the tub and found that I'd bitten off more than I could chew. Part way through the pain and the tears my son stepped into the tub and proceded to wash my hair for me. His kindness made me cry even more. I cannot express my thankfulness and humility. God is good and I'm blessed by a kind-hearted 23-year old young man who showed me his love and compassion. I love you Teddy!

Mom
xoxo

Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Joy comes in the morning...

Tears of frustration, fear, and being misunderstood. When do they become tears of joy?


Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Back Spasms

Ok, I knew there was a reason why I didn't like the recovery time after a surgery but I'd forgotten about the spasms. When I had my teeth out I couldn't lift my head... When I had my ovarian cyst removed I had stomach spasms. Will I remember should I ever require surgery again? Let's hope so!

Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Surgery Be Done!

Well, we bit the bullet & paid to get the surgery done! My mother leant us the money & I must pay her back, ASAP. All donations welcome! ;)

This was the view from my bed earlier as I watched the sun set on the Vancouver skyline.





Surgeon said hernia was huge. Currently my right leg is a bit numb, particularly the foot. He said this can take up to a year to heal as the sciatic nerve heals 1mm/day and has my whole leg to heal. Surgery site is a bit sore so am back on narcotic painkillers (just got off them this last weekend) so now must go back on Lactulose the industrial laxative (just got off that too!).

15 days to wedding. Need a miracle so am continuing to covet your prayers!!

Much love,
Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Cambie St,Vancouver,Canada

Spinal Surgery Tomorrow!

Well, here it is... the night before my surgery & I'm prepping my iPhone so that I will have something to do, should I be awake that is. :)

So, if you would... Please pray for my surgery tomorrow morning at 9:30am. I'll also need prayer for my recovery... I kind of need a speedy recovery so that I'll be ready for the wedding on the 28th. :)

Much love,

Lea B

Private Surgery Date Set! Spinal Surgery, Here I Come!

Good day all!!

Update: Private surgery date has been set for May 12th. Cost is now $2000. We are praying for the funds which are due on date of surgery.

Doctor says surgery is urgently needed to avoid permanent nerve damage to my foot and leg. I'm still on their cancellation list and if my name comes up on that list before May 12th I won't have to pay for my surgery.

Please pray that we'll have the funds when needed. Right now I have absolutely no source of income as EI has denied me a medical claim. I have sent in an appeal but have yet to hear from them on this matter. I'm not allowed to work you can see that we are in financial hardship at the moment. I was told that my EI should begin again mid-May (but I was originally told that I qualified for the medical EI...).

Please also pray for my surgeon, his aids, and the anaesthetist. Spinal surgery is not without it's risks and complications so I'd prefer to have The Great Physician present, guiding everyone involved in my surgery.

I will only be staying one night at the False Creek Surgical Centre and will be discharged the next day. They say recovery should be four weeks. Freddy's wedding is on the 28th of May and I am hoping to be physically capable to perform all my duties for that special day. I'm looking so forward to my dance with my son on his wedding day!!

So, you can see that I truely do covet your prayers!! Please add my name to any prayer list you come across!! I'm so looking forward to getting up and about again!

Thank you for all your prayers. Without them, I believe we wouldn't have come this far this fast!!

Much love,

Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Why Not Trust God Again by Kurt Carr

After my stressed out doctor's visit last week this song seems a tad appropriate:

When life seems cruel
And so unfair
With each new day it seems a greater problems waiting there
For each step forward I take
Seems I get pushed two steps behind
Don’t think I’m going to make it sometimes
Don’t think my nerves can take it this time
As I’m about to call it quits a solution comes
Why not trust God again
I know that He can do it
I pray again, believe again
My God will work it for my good again
I know that He will see me through it all
If I trust in God again

Is there a mountain standing in your way
Is there a loved one you’re worried about today
Is there a blessing you desire that seems intangible
Instead of giving up the fight
Cling to faith with all your might
The One who’s seen you through before is still able

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take him at his word
Why not trust

Chorus:
Why not trust God again
I know that He can do it
I pray again, believe again
My God will work it for my good again
I know that He will see me through it all

I will, I will, I will trust in God again ( repeat )

Do you want to hear this beautiful song?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksdwKRVLiNw


Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

MRI is DONE!

Well, I suppose I should be whooping and hollering because this huge mountain has been climbed but now comes the hard part: convincing the surgeon that surgery is needed right away.

My doctor says that I'm able to mask the pain to a point where the surgeon commented to her that patient appears to not be in any pain. Well, when I met this strange person I was, of course, on my bestest behaviour! I was also on painkillers which numbs the pain and makes it bearable to move around.

She now suggests that I go to see him to discuss results but go without having taken the painkillers! Just the thought of this brought me to tears in her office (cue sunglasses!). She quickly changed her mind and said that if I could explain the pain to him (and cry about it) that that should suffice. I'm not sure what to do...

I don't ever want to feel that pain again! I cannot miss my pills or I'm in agony for hours afterwards. I will have to find a middle ground. I don't know when my appointment is but will post about it after the fact with what went down.

On a brighter note, I've ordered the dress I'm wearing to my son's wedding at the end of May. I ordered a size 12 but am hoping to be a size 10 when it arrives... We'll have to see... weight has stayed the same for the last couple of birthday weeks and hasn't gone down at all... So, I ordered a safe 12. :)

I can't sit up any longer... I had to type up an appeal on an Employment Insurance decision to NOT pay me any sickness benefits while I have this injury. It's frustrating and I'm doing what I can to explain my situation to them, one that I feel should be supported financially by them. Having worked in the Federal Government I am aware that special situations exist all over the place and am hoping that I may qualify for an adjustment and a back payment from them.

Still seeking your prayers for my back (and might as well throw the financial situation in there too!! :) ). Thank you to all who have been prayerfully supporting me during my time of crisis.

Much love in Him,

Lea B

Strawberry Shortcake Trifle

It's my mother's 87th birthday weekend! Every year I make her an angel food cake with strawberries & whipped cream, her absolute favourite!

This year, with my injury, I was not looking forward to the finickiness of the whole thing: trying to cut it in half horizontally evenly, to remember what order the innards were in, getting enough strawberry juice into the cake so that it would saturate enough to her liking, and the worst, making sure that all seams, corners, and sides were covered thickly enough in whipping cream to look beautiful. See what I mean?Finicky!

A few days before the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding (that's an amazing recipe unlike any other I've seen anywhere!) dinner I was thinking of the cake and remembering everything I'd need from the store: fresh dark strawberries, whipping cream, a Betty Crocker angel food cake, and a container of frozen crushed strawberries in juice. It was then that I thought about getting two boxes of cake so that I'd have one on hand for last minute ideas (The @DailyChef I love and curse you simultaneously! ) and just in case my cake failed somehow; it was too important an occassion for any errors! I was remembering my absolutely failed fallen chocolate cake and how @BettyCrocker cake to my rescue with a Chocolate Peanut Butter Trifle that was an AMAZING success! (Again, another recipe!) Could I do this with this cake? Surely! Would I dissappoint my mother? An absolute possibility! Would she say something hurtful before trying it and loving it? Another absolute possibility! I was very scared but my sense of adventure was piqued! All these great, impressive, Tweeting bloggers out there were my encouragement.

Now, if you don't have a trifle dish/bowl there is NOTHING stopping you from having one! Walmart has a simple one for just under $7! That's right! My friend Gail and I were on my quarter-yearly shopping trip to the States at the Bellingham Walmart on the Guide Merridian when I needed a trifle dish & there it was! Affordable & simple! We were so happy to find it!

I prepared my cake but for some reason, my impatience perhaps?! I turned it right-side up too early and it fell and slid right out of the pan! I set that mess on the cooling rack and started all over!

Cake done and cooled, I removed my whipping cream bowl and beaters from the freezer where they'd been chilling for 30-60 minutes. Using a 500ml carton of whipping cream (the real thing!), about 1/4 cup of Splenda white sugar (get it in bulk at Costco to save a bit of $), and about 2 tsp of vanilla extract (I prefer to use my Watkins White Vanilla when making whipping cream & a white icing to keep the colour as pure as possible). I stationed my husband on the other counter with these tools and a silicone spatula and got him beating the whipping cream. When he started to think it was ready I encouraged him to continue. I'm looking for not just soft peaks but for a stiff, chunky appearance to appear. ;) At that point I told him to make a well and to add the Splenda white and the vanilla. (Note: Splenda white inhaled is no fun so make sure you do what you need to to make sure it's a but mixed in before starting your beaters up again! ;) )

Ok, trifle dish in hand, fresh strawberries washed and deflowered (ok, can't recall term for removing leaves & making that triangular cone shaped cut in the top to remove whitish core... Shucking comes to mind but that's for corn, so I'm going with deflowering! So there!), frozen strawberries thawed and opened, both cakes sitting at the ready, and whipping cream whipped I began my masterpiece!

I placed cubed/bite-sized pieces of cake on the bottom of the dish (it's a squishy cake so I quickly abandoned the knife and ripped off pieces between 1-2 inches cubed) leaving about an 1/8-1/4" of space between pieces. (If when making trifle you place your pieces too close you may end up with dry cake pieces at the bottom when serving. They need a "bit" of moisture so leave a bit of room.) I then added a few heaping tablespoons of the mushy strawberries and a layer of whipping cream and pressed down gently to fill those spaces. On top of this layer of whipping cream I laid down some of the thin (maybe about 1/8" thick) fresh strawberry slices. Not a lot of them, maybe around 10. (In retrospect I should've cut these in half, top to bottom, for the onside of the cake. Their size proved awkward when eating.) I then took some and stood them up along the glass around this layer for presentation. (Notice on the picture how you can see inside your cake? To make what looks like a mess a bit nicer, try to think of the ingredients of your trifle and how they can be eye-pleasing as well as yummy.)

I then continued this process of cake, mushy strawberries, whipped cream, and fresh strawberry slices till I got to the top. (The reason I added the fresh strawberries was to give this yummy, mushy, soggy, dessert some texture, some interest for the teeth. :) )

Now that you're at the top ensure you end with a layer of whipping cream and then you can either leave it that way or use some of your sliced strawberries or some whole strawberries as decoration. I recommend locating your best looking (darkest) strawberries at the beginning and putting them to the side until the end.


I covered my concoction with plastic wrap & refridgerated until I served it.

How did it go over, you may be wondering? I don't know what happened but my mother's face lit up when she say the beautiful trifle. :) I was very afraid of that initial reaction but with all the baking and learning I've been doing from my two favourite Twitter foodies (@DailyChef and @BettyCrocker) I think she trusted me to take her favourite dessert & improve it! I was so happy that everyone loved it. Seconds were seen to be had by a few!

You may be wondering what I did with that last bit of mushy strawberries? (Don't you just hate incomplete recipes/instructions?) I took my leftover fresh strawberries and diced them up, added them to the remaining mushy strawberries w/1-2 tbsp of white sugar and stirred. This was refrigerated until dessert when it came out and was served on top of each serving. Enjoy!


Served 6 (with a few people having seconds & two servings sent home with the birthday girl!)
At a shower or a potluck this could've served 12-16 people.
At my house though... ;)

Indredients:

1-2 boxes of Betty Crocker Angel Food Cake (my preference)
500ml (2 cups for my American friends) Whipping Cream
Large clamshell of fresh ripe strawberries (about a dozen LARGE strawberries)
2 containers of frozen strawberries in juice (about 500ml sized containers)
Water for cake mix(es)
1-2 tsp Vanilla for whipped cream
1/4 cup Splenda White Sugar (or white sugar) for whipped cream

Directions:

Bake cake as directed, let cool completely. Remove from pan and using your hands break up into bite-sized pieces. (I did this as I put them into my dish. No prepping is really required)

Whip your whipping cream as directed above or as you usually would.

Wash & slice your fresh strawberries reserving about 4-6 of the best looking ones for garnish.

Defrost your frozen strawberries overnight in your cleaned sink or dish drainer.

Layer cake, mushy strawberries, whipped cream, and fresh strawberries as instructed above ending with a whipped cream layer.

Garnish with whole or sliced strawberries. Wipe off any stray whipping cream near the top of your dish, cover & refrigerate for at least an hour. Serve chilled and enjoy!

Because of my flopped cake I have a bit of cake left over. I also have another carton of whipping cream and some frozen blueberries lurking in my freezer and a delish recipe for a blueberry sauce that uses oranges! Do you smell a sequel? ;)


Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

The Reason for the season!

When I look back on my childhood I could tell some stories! The story that is most important, the beginning of the story was in June 1981, it began when I was 16; that's when I found out. It was when the missing Piece fell into place. When I heard about how a Man had lived & died just because of His love for ME?? A huge weight, all the anger, fear, loneliness, confusion & misinformation was lifted as I picked up that cross!

I am SO thankful to Jesus for the life that He gave up so the I could live!

So, may I take this opportunity to remind you, in your chocolate haze, to remember The Reason for the season? If you, like I, don't know anything about why we are celebrating Easter and why you have been given a long weekend... I invite you to meet The Reason! He is just waiting to meet you!

He Is Risen! Happy Easter!!

Much love to you all!


Go with God!
Lea B.
-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Surrey,Canada

Happy Easter Everyone! Doctor's Appointment on Tuesday.

Years ago I heard Tony Campolo preach a message entitled: It's Friday... But Sunday's A Comin'." Well, today may be Saturday but Sunday is still a comin'! In case you don't understand this reference, Tony was saying that you may be in your darkest hour, but... Christ may be seen hanging on that old rugged cross, but... (as the saying goes) Help is on the way!

As you celebrate this long weekend with friends, family, and chocolate, remember the real Reason for the Season (interesting how that can be used here as well, isn't it?) and celebrate His return!

Tuesday we head off to the doctor's office for the MRI results. I'm not really sure why the doctor wants me to make this trip. We know I need surgery; there's a 1-year waiting list; there's nothing to be done except to wait... Check, check, and check! Am just glad I need a few more prescriptions refilled.

Yesterday was my mother's 87th birthday!! Happy Birthday, Mother!!

May the Lord Bless you.
He is risen!

Lea B
Sent from my iPhone

Heart Brownie Cupcakes from Betty Crocker's website

Today I woke up and had a bit more energy than I had yesterday.  Hey, at this point I'll take what I can get!  :)

I sorted through some of my recipes trying to remember what on earth I had read and then had my hubby me up some more Bakers Unsweetened Chocolate!!  Any ideas?  Ya, that's all I've got too!

Anyways, sorted through a few recipes that I wanted to try out and had the ingredients for.... then I got up, washed my hair, got dressed in a pair of ... Oh great... what are they called??  All I can remember is what my mother calls them: Pedal Pushers... Oh well, it'll come to me later... Nope, I'm going to stop trying now.  I also wore my flip-flops (which to me isn't accurate because what I had on my feet were thongs.  I don't own a pair of flip-flops, I only have thongs!  You know, the kind of sandal that goes through your toes and barely holds on to your foot and heaven help you if you should step on a stone because you're ankle is going over.)  Ok, my point is that it is nice enough outside that I could wear no shoes/socks & shorter pants... Capris!!  Knew I'd figure it out!!  :)

I got downstairs and the kitchen was not baking-ready.  I don't know about you but I like to have the counters clear, the sink and dish drain empty, dishwasher empty and stove cleaned off before I start to bake.  I know how much room I'll need to prep, bake, and then clean up afterwards.  If I don't have this done I usually will deflate quickly and lose the will to live...  Ok, not quite that bad, but I will usually not bake.  I have a limited amount of energy and if I have to do all that work beforehand, I won't have enough to finish the job properly.  I'll rush something and ruin what I've just spend hours getting ready for.  Oh, did I forget to mention that I not only walk in slow motion but tend to do everything that way lately.  It takes a lot of effort to fight the constant (and sometimes stabbing) pain and the effects of the drugs that I'm taking to enable me to kind of function.  Moving fast can cause me to move incorrectly and the result is a huge burning down my right leg.  Also, moving fast causes that odd feeling in my right calf... It feels like there's a shortening of the gastrocnemius muscle (the cause of my sexy, slow limp).

So, kitchen NOT baking-ready, daily baking aspirations were starting to float away.  Thank goodness one of the recipes used a pre-mix in the form of Betty Crocker's Brownie Mix!  The day was saved!

The recipe said it made 24 brownies at 2 level measuring tablespoonfuls of batter but I was only able to get 18 out of it.  Let me tell you, using a measuring spoon was a nightmare!  I couldn't get it all out and my spatula wouldn't fit in... I tried two different measuring spoons until I gave up and used a large silverware spoon and it, heaped with the batter, filled up the cups to 2/3 full as did the measured out batter. *whew!  Was about to throw in the towel if I couldn't get it to work. (Previously, two bottles of PAM decided to not work properly by shooting the wonderful non-stick stuff directly in a stream into my cupcake cups. Not one but two of the cans decided to kick the bucket on the same day, during the same recipe. Almost impossible!  Thank goodness I'd splurged on a Professional PAM and had that one in the cupboard too! PTL for the small blessings, eh?) 

Here's a picture of the baked brownies when they came out of the oven. I only have 1x12 and 1x6 cupcake trays so I put these six into an 8-in silicone baking dish.  They look almost the same as the ones that were in the baking trays. 

Now, you may be wondering if I had the capability to bake 18 at a time in trays why I put these in something else??  Good question...  I didn't know when I started that I'd only get 18 out of the batter so I put these in here to bake them while I was getting the others ready.  Then when I got to the 1x12 I could only fill it 1/2 full.  <sigh> Confused myself there for a minute!  ;)

After they've baked and cooled you take them out of the paper cups and turn them upside down and place a cut-out of a heart (I used a cookie cutter and traced the hearts on wax paper... by the time I got them to the cupcakes/brownies' bottoms they were too big I had to cut them again.) on the bottom and then dust with icing sugar. I used my cookie decorating tweezers to remove the wax paper.  I pushed down in the center of the heart with my left finger thus lifting the edge enough to get the tweezers underneath.

You can see here, the three stages of the brownies/cupcakes.  They were quite tasty but I think I'm going to experiment on a few more brownie recipes before I settle on the one I want to serve at my son's rehearsal dinner come late May.  I'm going to have to experiment with freezing and defrosting brownie/cupcakes in order to have enough for the day before the big day.  :)  I'll transport them to the locale and dust them up there.

Anyways, that was the excitement of my day.  I've given my mother 3, hubby 1, ate 1 and gave Ted 1.  I'm sending the remainder to Toastmasters with  my husband tomorrow for my friends that I haven't seen in absolutely ages!  I really miss my social life!

Oh, a bit of excitement yesterday, my pastor finally called to see how I am!  I haven't seen him in over a month and was beginning to feel quite bummed that something this serious has happened to me and I hadn't even had a call yet. Was happy to receive the call.  He prayed for my surgery date to be brought forward as well as for healing if that's what the Lord has planned for me.

I hope you enjoy the recipe/suggestion of what to do with the recipe... :) 

The weather's good!  Go out in your thongs and capris!  ;)

Much love,

Lea B

Cupcakes!

The other day I made a recipe from Betty Crocker's website: Lemon Lover's Cupcakes with Lemon Buttercream Frosting.  Being a lemon lover I was QUITE disappointed with this recipe.  The cupcakes are made with a yellow cake recipe with 2 TBSPs of lemon rind added to it...  That's it!  I mixed in 2 TBSPs of lemon juice into the cake batter's water measurement but still the cupcake was a let down.  If this is supposed to be a Lemon Lover's dreamy cupcake then why on earth isn't Betty Crocker using a Lemon cake as it's base?  The icing was very good; I added more lemon juice as well as some lemon extract.

You can believe that if I try this recipe again that I'll be using the Duncan Hines Lemon Cake mix I bought rather than BC's Yellow Cake mix.

A lover of lemons,

Lea B

At least there's baking!

I long for the simple things in life:

• To be able to tie up my right shoe.
• To walk without this "sexy" limp.
• To get up off the couch unaided.
• To be able to sit on the couch.
• To be able to sit up and eat dinner every night.
• To take my two dogs out to go potty.
• To drive.
• To go down to the States (with my friend Gail).
• To shop for groceries.
• To sleep on my side.
• To go see a show.
• To eat out at a restaurant.
• To go to school.
• To go to work.
• To go to church.
• To sing in the choir.
• To go to the gym (with my friend Anita).
• To go for a walk at the park (with my friend Maria).
• To visit friends.
• To do laundry.

If you've found a few things in my list, that you've taken for granted, count your blessings! One day, without a warning that you recognize, they can be taken away from you.



I thank God I can still bake! It would be awful to lose that too!


Lea B

Sent from my iPhone

Pain Level for March 9th

Painkiller down to 1/2 a pill every 3 hours, yesterday and last night.

Pain level has gone down a bit. Doesn't feel like my leg is on fire right now. Right foot still quite numb.  Got out of bed and old frenemy, stabbing butt pain, met me as I stood.  Not quite out of the woods yet! Back of knee and heel now hurting. I had to go potty, what was I thinking?!

Please pray for God's will for me and to give my doctor wisdom. Also, riding in vehicle makes my leg pain quite worse. Please pray for travelling mercies for my body too.

Thank you to all who have been praying for me. Keep up the great work!

Lea B
Sent from my iPhone

Monday, March 8th

Had a visit from my Gym partner, Anita today! I served her tea and my
transformed blondies (added to walnuts: 1/3c semi-sweetened chocolate
chips & chocolate-peanut butter coating from my peanut butter cookies!
Can you say YUM!?), we talked, and she prayed for me & my family. We
had a nice visit.

Not as lonely,

Lea B

Sent from my iPhone

Haven't posted for a while...

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a bit..  It's getting really hard for me to sit down anywhere.  I've tried to adjust my chair so that it won't push under my right leg but just the seat itself is too much for the leg.

Since seeing the neurosurgeon my doctor has been able to move my MRI back into this year: May 2010!!  Much better than June 2011!

I'm seriously considering the Non-Surgical Spinal Decompression (NSSD) as I could have that treatment finished before the MRI and then we could see if it did any damage or made it better... But, $4500 is quite a lot when you are unemployable and have absolutely no financial support.  We could really use that money!

Please continue to pray for the healing of my backside!  We've gotten the MRI moved up which is a great answer to prayer!  Now, I really need wisdom on whether to go with the NSSD or to just wait until next year for surgery.  My school is going to allow me to come back when I can.

My youngest is getting married at the end of May and I'd really like to be able to dance with him at his wedding.

Much love in Him,

Lea

Specialist Visit on Thursday, March 4th, 2010

On Wednesday afternoon I received a call from my doctor's office telling me that I had an appointment the next morning with BC's best neurosurgeon!!  My doctor's receptionist also told me that the specialist's office was currently booking appointments for September so it was pretty good that I got that appointment that fast...  Pretty good?  I think not.  Miracle, I think so!  :)

So, we get up early on Thursday and go to see the neurosurgeon.  He looks at my CT Scan results, asks me about my MRI (June 25th, 2011!) and then tests my reflexes.  He then goes on to tell me that Physio won't help me at this point and that I will need surgery.  I tell him that I'm okay with that and then he drops the bomb: There's currently a 1-year waiting list for surgery! It's either wait or there's the option of a private surgery at a cost of $5800 plus another $800 on top of that for a private MRI so that they can do the surgery.

So, my name is on the list and I'm back home again...  My doctor is going to be surprised to see me next week as she thought that the specialist would be taking care of everything.

Prayer has opened doors in expediating a CT Scan as well as an appointment with a neurosurgeon.  Please keep praying so we can see what doors God will open next.  The painkillers I'm on are highly addictive if taken for any length of time.  I cannot fathom a year with this kind of pain or a year taking these kinds of pills.

A year without any physical activity will cause my muscles to atrophy and a year on these pills will mean addiction to narcotics.  PTL that closed doors don't necessarily mean that there are no options!

I continue to covet your prayers!!

Thanks for all the prayers you've submitted on my behalf...  Please keep up the good work!

Much love,

Lea

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

Today my walking partner, Maria, came over for lunch!!

We had planned on a walk today but the doctor said no so I invited her over.  We had grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and cookies for dessert.

I got up earlyish and baked cookies.  I wanted to have a treat here for her as she's always so kind and giving to my family and I and what could be better than peanut butter cookies coated in a chocolate-peanut butter mixture and then rolled in icing sugar?  Possibly nothing!  ;)

Here are a few of the pictures I took of the cookies after they were baked:

The recipe called for the peanut butter cookies to be lightly tossed in the chocolate-peanut butter coating...  Well, good luck with that, eh!  It's more like spreading the coating over the cookies.

Then the recipe says to put the cookies into a bag and gently roll cookies in icing sugar.  Well, what does't stick together sticks to the side of the bag.

As I'm not a huge fan of icing sugar, I covered some of the cookie tops with just the coating.  These cookies are good but hubby prefers the ones with the icing sugar on them.

Here's a picture of both cookies.

IF you should make these cookies please remember:
Do Not Inhale!

When eating treats covered in icing sugar never inhale as you are taking a bite.  The sugar flies to the back of the throat causing you to choke.  This will ruin the entire experience for you and that's just out of the question with cookies this good! :)

Praise Report!!!

PRAISE REPORT!!!


Appointment tomorrow morning with neurosurgeon!! Prayer certainly opens closed doors!


Continue praying as pain has increased since yesterday and it's hard to concentrate. Painkillers are no longer keeping it at bay! Beginning to have a form of cramping in right buttocks and thigh when I move from sitting to standing.  This is quite similar to the pre-acute pains I was having but this time it's on top of the acute pain.  Not sure what has changed.


Also, an MRI is still needed. Please pray specialist will be able to get one ASAP and that if surgery is needed that it will be done swiftly. 


Thank you!!

Much love,

Lea

Update for Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010. Doctor's Visit

I sent out an email update to all my friends.  Here's what it said:

So, I saw my doctor today & CT Scan results are in: severe disc herniation between L4-L5. Pain & weakness in right leg. Foot showing signs of drop foot meaning that the muscles are now being affected. Fear of perm nerve damage to worry about now.


I'm being referred to a neurosurgeon for probable surgery. Dr said they don't usually see this level of severity.  Now must wait to get an appointment w/surgeon. I will continue to blog about all this here.

If you know of a prayer chain or list, PLEASE, PLEASE add my name. I'm in a lot of debilitating pain & am fearful of back surgery & any possible delays getting to the specialist or the MRI that ultimately will be required.

Much love,

Lea
Sent from my iPhone

Betty Crocker's Easy Cranberry-Orange Scones

So, I'm allowed to do "light activity" and to me that means I should bake!  ;)  Well??  What else falls into the category and produces such a wonderful result?  Housework? *shudder!




I began by combining all the dry ingredients into a container for later (when I'd again, need to do some light activity!).


In a great cookie book I have... (Can't recall the title but will add when I remember.) ... they talk about putting the dry ingredients in containers until you're ready to bake.  This way if you have a few different cookies you plan on baking you're pulling out all those ingredients once.  Brilliant, eh?  I know!!  It's really saved me a lot of time.

I then put the container away until "later". :) (You can see to the left of my containers I've stacked some dollar store containers on top of each other.  They contain my flours and sugars to make it easier for measuring.  I can easily scoop & level without fighting the bags!  So much easier.)


Below my scone dry ingredients I have the chocolate cookie dry ingredients awaiting a baking day with my future daughter-in-law B.  I enjoy baking with her.  :)

Ok, when I got to it and started combining my dry and wet ingredients I found it impossible to use a spoon to get all that flour mixed in with the wee bit of moisture called for in the recipe.  I put the spoon away and dug in with my hands.  God's greatest tools, don't you think??

The recipe said to make an 8-inch round disc.  I'm looking at it and can't tell diddlysquat how much 8-inches is!  SO, I realized the recipe was on an 8.5"x11" piece of paper so I used that.  As you can see round was out of my reach.  It kind of looks like a very round kitten if you tilt your head to the left and imagine the cranberries are eyes, nose, and; ear.  ;)

Then I cut it into eight pieces that are relatively equal in size.  Ok, so there are four that are bigger than the other ones!!  I'm sure no one is THAT picky, are they?  ;)

I baked it for the 20 minutes on a cookie sheet covered with baking paper.  I might go a wee bit longer next time as it tasted a touch whole wheat breadish in the center of the pieces.  It puffed up and that's why you need to get it to the 8-inch round(ish) shape.

When I was making it and it was around the 5-6-inch round(ish) I wondered if that was where they wanted it.  Then I thought that I'd best follow directions and possibly it might rise a bit... and it did!

Voila!  Here they are (ok, I didn't remember to take this picture until after I'd taken one piece to my eldest, T, and 2 pieces to my mother, and eaten one myself...  That's about when I remembered that I needed a picture of the finished product! Boy, did I panic!) with the orange glaze drizzled over them.  I used orange juice & icing sugar instead of the milk they suggested in the recipe.  I'd made a lemon cookie once that had a similar glaze w/lemon juice so I figured I couldn't go wrong using juice here.  Although, as the glaze is not going to be white, I suggest you sift the sugar into the bowl you are mixing the two in.  Lumpy white in the lovely clearish glaze...  Yuck!


I served this cut in half horizontally with margarine...   Yum!

Bon Appetit!

Exercise In Unexpected Places

Today I got out of the house & walked down to the grocery store!

You might think this isn't such a big deal, so why the exclaimation point?  Well, let me tell you my usual exercise routine:

• Monday: head to Curves for an intense 25 mins workout & 5 minutes of stretching.
• Tuesday: meet up with my walking partner (yo Maria!!) and head to the track for a 1 hour brisk walk.
• Wednesday: repeat Monday.
• Thursday: repeat Tuesday.
• Friday: repeat Wednesday repeating Monday.

So, why would a 10 minute walk to the grocery store, walking around aforementioned grocery store, & a 10 minute walk back home be anything other than not worth mentioning??  Because, for just over a week & a half I've not been able to walk very far without severe pain in my right leg & intensifying numbness in my right foot. (Read previous blogs for full details.)

So, why exercise in unexpected places?? (This is the fun part!)

I walked, with my "sexy" limp down to the store. I must admit that two senior citizen ladies passed me because I was going too slow! I bought around 10 lbs of groceries & walked back. En route, I was switching my heavy bag to my other hand when a thought struck me: Doctor has prescribed light activity. I'm walking: light activity? Check! So I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I'm also carrying a heavy bag... Now, if I were to curl the bag I could work on my biceps, while doing light activity!!! I had to carry the bag anyways!! I could get a bit of a workout in while walking home!

I curled the (approx. 10lb) bag for 3 sets of 10 reps on each arm! I'm so pround of myself for finding a way to get some extra exercise. As I'm not to put any extra pressure on my lower back it's been very difficult to get any exercise. Believe me, I've been thinking...  My oldest son, also a personal trainer, has nixed every thought I've had.  So, this one today?? Got approval! Yeah for me!

All His best to you as you too find exercise in unexpected places!


Lea
Sent from my iPhone

Feb 15-24th, 2010, Medications and My Observations

I not only want to keep track of what's been going on but possibly this will help another going through the same thing. These were recorded on my iPhone App Meds Log. This is my first week on Oxycodone pills. I've been taking 1 pill every 6 hours and then 1/2 a pill on the 3 hr mark between the 1 pill times.

Date	Time	Med	Dose	Notes/Overall Condition
15-Feb	10:16 PM	T3		Took 2. Side of calf starting to pulsate as I try to sleep. When I doze off leg pulsates!
16-Feb	11:02 PM	T3		Better but when I relax my buttocks, leg hurts down to ankle.
17-Feb	06:07 PM	Flexeril	½ a pill
19-Feb	07:30 AM	Oxy	½ a pill	Could feel burning intensify in my leg as well as numb foot. Took 1/2 pill to try to tame the pain. It never left but stopped being all I could feel.
	09:10 AM		1 pill	Foot is more numb than yesterday. Buttocks difficult to impossible to relax to go potty. Leg is burning. Lower back has seized up. Flexibility is close to zero.
	06:23 PM		½ a pill	Able to go #1 w/no problem. :) Leg is burning down to just below knee. Foot quite numb. Period should be starting soon. Must gain some flexibility back to deal with it. :( Right butt cheek quite painful getting out of bed. Back of knee quite tender. CT Scan tomorrow @ RCH. Had almost an hour nap 5-6pm.
20-Feb	12:00 AM		½ a pill	Back of right leg burning. Butt & spine sore. Foot numb. Able to go #1 no problem. Excited for CT Scan. Hope it shows what needs to be shown!
	09:00 AM		1 pill	Drove to & from CT Scan. No affect on driving. Got close to home & close to 9am when leg started burning. Wanted to get out & walk just so I didn't have to sit on it.
	12:01 PM		½ a pill	Was taking a nap.
	09:09 PM		1 pill	Outside & underside of leg hurting. Right side of right foot quite numb. Feeling quite low tonight. Wish my future wasn't so uncertain. :'(
21-Feb	12:01 PM		½ a pill	Leg achy. Heel feeling cold.
22-Feb	06:00 PM		1 pill	Took a whole pill by accident. :(
	09:11 PM		1 pill	Took whole pill @ 6:00pm by accident. Didn't want to mess w/my schedule so took a full one @ 9pm. *sigh
24-Feb	03:04 PM		1 pill	Took 1/2 a pill to see what the pain level is as Dr wants me on less pills by Tuesday next. Right leg has been quite sore today. Pain similar to previous pains that feel like a hollow in the hip. Also hip flexors feel strained but I can't think of anything I've done to strain them.

Lose It! A great application for the iPhone!

Back in the summer 2009 I weighed in at 196 lbs!!  I was miserable!

I'd been on the Jenny Craig program twice and both times lost between 50-70lbs.  I'd been able to keep it off for a few years each time but as I was an emotional eater...  Once the stability of my situation disappeared... so did my slim waistline.

Well, this time I couldn't afford to go back and I was beginning to tire of the foreign foods.  There had to be a way for me to lose weight eating healthy on my own, but how could I do this without the accountability and support of my Jenny Craig consultant???  That's when I found Lose It! on iTunes app store.

I love this program!  It has tracked my progress, and even though it isn't a person I meet with each week, it keeps me on track!  It has a database of regular foods and such but what I like is it has the ability for you to enter in your recipes.  You tell it how many servings you got out of your recipe and it tells you how many calories there are per serving.  Then, when you make it again, you'll know how much you can eat...  Without the guilt.

Not only does it track your food but it also tracks your exercises and activities of the day and takes these calories burned into account for your daily intake.  Have I mentioned that I love this program??  ;)

If you have an iPhone I highly recommend you get this app and see where it can lead you!  It also allows you to connect with friends who also use this application and you can motivate each other.  And, if you've seen my Facebook or Twitter accounts you'll see that there's the option to have it update your status with pounds lost and calories burned.

If you do happen to get this app, please contact me so that we can put each other in as motivators in our journey to lose weight and get into shape!  Thus far I've lost 45.5 lbs since the summer of 2009.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't all I did to lose this much.  I also joined Curves and then one week later I broke my left ankle.  I didn't allow this to stop the momentum I had started of going to the gym Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  I still went to Curves but I worked only on my upper body.  I stayed away from the leg machines and the recovery stations and did double duty on all the upper body machines.  :)  Once I was able to walk without pain I got myself a walking partner (Hi Maria!!) and on Tuesdays and Thursdays we were at the Bear Creek Park track walking for an hour each day.  It was so very nice to spend time with a friend and get to know her better... to have someone to talk to about life, hers and mine...  Godly women's friendships are very important.  I'm really missing my walks right about now.  I wonder if they fall into the category of "light activity"??  Hmmm...  Maybe, maybe not...  ;)

So, if you want to know anything about the Lose It! application, ask away!!

His best to you!!

Lea

ps. Before I joined Curves I had lower lumbar strain and was wearing a back brace.  I'd had this pain for a number of years (6 to be more exact) and was told that my back muscles were especially weak.  About a month ago I realized that this pain was completely gone!!  Curves' machines target your core and they helped me to build up my core and back muscles.  I highly recommend going to Curves because it worked so well for me.

LB

What Happened... Last Week...

Update:


Monday 1am, I awoke screaming as my right leg felt like it was on fire. Took two T3s and it finally settled after 90 minutes of crying and yelling.


Wednesday 10pm, took 2xT3s and went to sleep. Woke screaming @ 12:00am. Doctor on call told me to call 911. I waited... Around 2:30am pain had subsided but I could feel it returning. I called 911.


When at SMH emergency they gave me a shot of morphine which only made me sleepy, it didn't touch the pain.  We were finally given a little room w/a bed and a chair to wait for Dr to make his rounds. I tried to stay awake but couldn't. We fell asleep. They forgot about me and I missed seeing the Doctor when he did his rounds. :'(


I woke at 7:15am and immediately got in a wheelchair to go potty. En route, as I passed nurses station, pain came back full force. I told them that I need something for the pain & proceded to cry & scream in agony. (Not my best moment. :( So many people around too. Probably scared some of the patients but I couldn't help it.)  Husband took me back to my room & nurse came in angrily asking what they needed to do to help? I had no idea! I told her that T3s & morphine didn't touch the pain & that I had no idea what to do. Doctor gave nurse approval for Demerol. 30 mins after the shot the pain subsided. I was finally pain free! First time in over a year!  We left the hospital around 9am.

I got to see my doctor that afternoon. Prescription for Oxycoton (or some such painkiller) & told that I have to stop going to school, gym & cannot work for 2-3 months. (Son took me to Dr and has been very kind & helpful throughout. Wish he were like this all the time...)


Friday: the prescription is for 1-2 pills every 6 hrs. Since Thursday I'd been taking 1 every 6 hrs but when I woke up that morning, which was at the 3 hr mark, there was the beginning of the burning down my leg & my right foot was number (I know that looks like number but it's numb with more intensity. :) ) than it was the day before & I could hardly bear my weight on it.


I wasn't able to go to the washroom because I couldn't put any weight on my right side; I could not relax enough to go. :(


I finally took 1/2 a pill & the pain became bearable & less frightening again. So, for now, I'm taking 1 pill every 6 hrs & 1/2 a pill at the halfway mark, every 6 hrs.


Next doctor's appt. is on Tuesday to see how it's going.


It's been so very terrifying as I can do nothing when the pain hits, nothing. It's very scary.


When I originally wrote up this update I received a call from Dr's office: CT Scan set for Saturday morning @ 7:45am!!! PTL!!!


My doctor had tried to get me one before Christmas but was told that an MRI was preferred by the RCH. A few weeks ago I was finally given the date for the MRI: June 25th, 2011!  18 months away!!


Since seeing me Thursday she was able to raise the urgency level & it seems to have worked!


I've not only been on our church's prayer list but on an international one I found through Twitter. Prayer is covetted as my hands are tied as have been my doctor's. Any prayer lists you are aware of? Please add my name to it!!

Thanks,

Lea

Doctor's Visit Today

I had my follow-up visit to my doctor after Thursday AM's fiasco at the Surrey Memorial Hospital.


Doctor said I was in a lot less pain than the last time she saw me on Thursday. This was an odd thing for her to say because when I saw her on Thursday I was feeling no pain! I'd had a shot of Demerol a few hours before seeing her and I really felt like everything was moving in slow motion. So, it wasn't pain that I was in the last time we saw each other. I was more alert, if nothing else. I know, for sure, I was in more pain today than I was last Thursday.


The results from the CT Scan are not back yet so we are still in the dark as to the cause of this pain. I have another appointment next week so we should have some idea by then.


She gave me another prescription for painkillers but was very adament that by my next appointment she wanted me to have cut back on the amount I'm taking (1.5 pills/6 hrs). Not looking forward to that activity. :( I don't like anything that brings me closer to THAT pain!


I'm still not to go to the gym. I'm allowed light activity, that's all. I wish this could be more specific... Does this mean that I can repeatedly climb the stairs in order to work my leg muscles? I don't know... I've got a 5lb weight next to my bed so that when I'm laying down I can at least work my arms a little bit. Too much pressure on my back if I were to do it sitting up so I've improvised. :) A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!


As much as I don't want the pain I really want to have the feeling back in my right foot. I can't tell if it's warm or cold... It's just very uncomfortable.


Doctor said that, similar to when I was dealing with a pinched nerve in my neck, as the pressure eases on this sciatic nerve, the feeling in my foot should come back and the pain will slowly creep back up to the hip. Yeah!! Can't wait till I only have a pain in my butt again! ;)


I guess that's all the excitement of my Doctor's Visit Today.


All His best to you,


Lea

Low Cal High Fiber Breakfast Alternative

If you're tired of giving away 200-300 calories for a bowl of healthy cereal in the morning, but don't want to compromise nutrition and that healthy fiber, take a look at the Curves Chewy Granola Bar. 100 calories each plus 5 grams of fiber & only 5 grams of suger too!  Very yummy!

The only other bar that comes close that I've seen, is a Fiber One 90 Calorie Bar that I found in the States. It tasted a bit like puffed wheat with chocolate added. Quite tasty too!

I eat one of these bars as I am driving to Curves.  It gives me enough energy for my workout.  On days when I'm not working out, I eat one for breaky and it lasts me until lunch.  The hunger and the pounds start melting away.  :)

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I crave that bowl of cereal with a chopped up apple on it... but... I don't give up those calories lightly!

Bon Appetit!


Lea B
Sent from my iPhone

Welcome to my growth through pain.

Last week my pain-in-the-butt sciatica was feeling a little under appreciated and decided that it needed to be front and center in my life.

My life is now completely on hold.  I had to stop going to school, the gym, and to work.  Thank goodness my school was understanding and is allowing me to continue my studies at a later date when I hope that this pain will allow me to attend.

I now walk with a sexy limp.  Well, if I don't call it sexy, people may make fun of me... but if it's "sexy" then perhaps others will take up this limp and I won't feel so embarassed by it.  :)

I will post more about last week in a bit.  Currently my laptop is getting hot and needs a time-out to recompose itself and I could use some breaky in order to replenish myself.

Thanks for looking in and I hope that you will return and learn with me.

All His best to you,

Lea